


Flinch

by ffwriter2018



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, choni, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 14:35:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18012704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffwriter2018/pseuds/ffwriter2018
Summary: Toni finally confides in Cheryl about her childhood.





	Flinch

Cheryl and Toni have been together for 10 months. Toni lived with Cheryl everything was good for the most part.Toni still had a hard time dealing with Cheryl’s impulsive tendencies. Cheryl still had difficulties controlling them she tried but not to much avail. They only had one major argument since then they both tried to be more open and aware of what they were doing. Until today when this fight reveals some deep truths Toni has never told anyone.

They stood in their room facing each other both not wanting to show the other weakness. “I don’t understand how you never seem to notice the way you act.”Toni huffed standing at the end their bed. “You continuously do what you want when you want. You tell me after the fact. Lately it seems like this/us isn’t what you want anymore it’s like you are still HBIC with me.” Toni hasn’t been this vulnerable in their relationship. Her hurt turns to anger when Cheryl doesn’t say anything just looks at her. “If this isn’t what you want just tell me. Don’t drag me around cause you feel bad or guilty or you want it to seem like you’re taking care of me. Do you think you could think about me before you for once. To tell me the truth. It’s always about your horrible childhood life or your horrible family. You aren’t the only one who’s been through hell Cheryl.I can handle life on my own.”Toni stands her arms crossed a tear falling down her face.

“Why would you say that?” Cheryl asks with anger underlying. “Everything I do it’s for us Toni.” Cheryl stands up to walk over to Toni who is looking down. “The fact that you feel like like I don’t want this is news to me. You never want to talk about your past Toni or your childhood.” Cheryl says standing in front of her girlfriend. “How am I supposed to know how you’re really feeling if you always hid it. Honestly there are times I feel that you don’t trust me because you never open up to me or talk to me.” Cheryl drops her hands down to her side.She then goes to lift her hands up to run them through her hair when she notices the way Toni jumps back. It completely stops both of them in their tracks, Cheryl is confused and a little bit hurt on why Toni flinched. Toni looks up at Cheryl tears rolling down her face. She had just let Cheryl see one of her biggest insecurities. “Toni, why did you just flinch like I was going to hurt you?” Cheryl had teas brimming in her eyes. Toni just looked up at her tears falling out of her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t do this. I’m going to school. I’ll see you later Cheryl.”Toni walks out of their room ignoring the way Cheryl is calling her name to come back to her. 

They normally drive to school everyday, but today was different. Toni went to school on her bike, Cheryl drove to school in her car. All of their friends figured something was up, it’s always Toni and Cheryl walking in together. Today though Toni came in by herself walked right by Fangs and Sweat Pea just nodding at them with her headphones in,not saying a word. Cheryl came in a few minutes later obviously looking like she’s been crying. She didn’t want to be here, she just wanted to find her girlfriend go home and talk about what happened. It was hard for Toni knowing she had to be in school today, she wasn’t in a good place and just needed to be alone. Unfortunately she needed to be in school because the SAT’s were coming up. But it didn’t matter even though she was there her mind was not on school. It was awkward because they have classes together but Toni couldn’t look at Cheryl in fear she would breakdown. She knew she needed to come clean and confess everything to Cheryl if she really wanted them to last, which she did. She loved Cheryl with everything she had. She left school before lunch. She just drove around she finally got back to their house and texted Cheryl.”I don’t want to worry you I am home.I’m ready to talk if you still want to listen.” Toni sends it walking up to their room to change. She gets a message about 10 minutes later.”Thank you for letting me know I’ll be home in a few minutes and we can talk.” Cheryl texts her. Toni sits in their living room waiting, panicking and crying.

Cheryl walks in and her heart breaks seeing how distraught her girlfriend looks. Cheryl takes off her shoes and jacket goes to sit next to her girlfriend cautiously taking her hands.They sit there in silence for a few minutes. “I am sorry for what I said this morning. I’m hurting and I was taking all my emotions out on you because I feel the safest with you.I feel the safest with you which is why I also haven’t told you about my childhood. While we were talking this morning I’m pretty sure you saw the way I jumped back when you raised your arms.” Toni finally seemed to take a breath looking up at Cheryl. Cheryl sadly nodded at Toni not wanting to pressure her girlfriend. Toni sighed then took a deep breath.”Just know that I’ve never felt scared or that you would hurt me. I flinched because I finally spoke up and you responded then you just went to fix your hair and I-I felt like I was a kid again.” Toni started crying. She pulled her hands from Cheryl’s to wipe the steady stream of tears that fell down her face.”When I was younger every time I stood up to my Uncle he would always umm he would hit me.” Toni never told anyone until tonight. “He was abusive very abusive about everything. It was really bad babe. That was even before he found out that I was Bi. It was before I was actually apart of the Serpents. I was never going to tell my uncle because I honestly was scared that he would kill me if he ever found out.” Toni stopped to catch her breath. She was looking at Cheryl’s eyes noticing the way her girlfriends eyes were filled with tears and there was absolutely no judgement.” I was outed to my Uncle and that night had FP not of come over I probably would not be here sitting in front of you. He found my uncle beating me. I don’t remember exactly what happened after that but I do remember that after that night the serpents were home and family. I was never ashamed of who I am or who I love. The serpents always supported and loved me for who I am.” 

“Toni I-I don’t know what to say. I am so so sorry. I-I.” Cheryl tried to find words that she tired to get out but she was completely in shock at what her girlfriend had just admitted.” I guess with us getting kicked out of the serpents all the crazy stuff going on at school and not having that protection of that family anymore. I just started to close off and build up these defensive hostile walls again, in fears of being that vulnerable and alone again. I especially never told you because I never want you to think I’m weak or worse broken.” Toni felt like she as going to be sick, worried about how Cheryl was going to react. Cheryl didn’t say anything, instead she just slide over pulled Toni on her lap and held her as she cried. Cheryl just whispered sweet calming “I love you’s and It’s going to be ok.” Once Toni finally calmed down she pulled her self away from Cheryl and looked at her. Cheryl leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Toni’s lips.”Nothing that you just told me changes anything in a bad way. It does add to the amount of love and respect that I have for you. I can never imagine that hell that you went through, you don’t have to keep that from me. The love you show me day in and day out is not a direct reflection of what you had to deal with growing up. It might take you a while to be able to truly accept and grow from what you’ve been through. But please always know that I’m going to be right here to catch you if you fall. I’m going to be there when ever you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to you vent or yell. Please no matter how angry or upset or scared you are I will always be here with you Toni because I love you for all that you are. Every part of you I admire and right now you are absolutely beautiful. This isn’t a weakness this is you showing so much strength and growth. I am so proud and happy that you finally felt safe enough to come clean about it all. Nothing will change my love for you TT. Nothing.” Cheryl finished wiping the tears that fell down her cheeks, then wipes her girlfriends face. “Thank you Cheryl for everything. I love you and again I am sorry.” Toni says as Cheryl shakes her head in the negative and kisses Toni’s forehead. Toni’s truth was finally out and Cheryl was still here. She still loved her despite everything. Just like Toni had always been there for Cheryl. Cheryl will always be there for Toni.


End file.
